Ashgrove Golf ClubClub: (07) 3366 1842 - Pro Shop: (07) 3366 3438

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Members Bits

19 Best Caddy Comments
19. Golfer "What do you suggest I should play from this side of the lake?"
Caddy "An old ball, sir" 
18. Golfer "My doctor says I can't play golf"
Caddy "Oh, so he's played with you too, sir." 
17. Golfer "I think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddy "Do your think you can keep your head down that long?"
16. Golfer "I've never played this badly before"
Caddy "I didn't realise you had played before, sir"
15. Golfer "My doctor say I should play 36 holes a day"
Caddy "Have you considered a harmonica" 
14. Golfer "Notice any improvement this week Caddy?"
Caddy "Yes ma'am, you've had your hair done" 
13. Golfer "Didn't you see where my ball went" 
Caddy "I'm sorry sir, I hadn't considered that you'd hit it this try" 
12. Golfer "How do you think I'm hitting them today?"
Caddy "Often, sir" 
11. Golfer "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course." 
Caddy" Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."
10. Golfer searching for ball "What sort of ball was I hitting?"
Caddy "A brand new one - never been properly hit"
9. Golfer "I love golf. I live for the game"
Caddy "If only you could play it, sir"
8. Golfer "Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."

7. Golfer "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"
Caddy "Eventually."

6. Golfer "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."
Caddy "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."

5. Golfer "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction."
Caddy "It's not a watch - it's a compass."

4. Golfer "How do you like my game?"
Caddy "Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf."

3. Golfer "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?"
Caddy "The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day."

2. Golfer "This is the worst course I've ever played on."
Caddy "This isn't the golf course. We left that quite some time ago."

1. Golfer "That can't be my ball, it's too old."
Caddy "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."